


Taller And Not So Fluffy

by markymark261



Category: Smallville
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-16
Updated: 2003-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-21 09:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/223647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markymark261/pseuds/markymark261
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The future. Tomorrow, Clark leaves Smallville for Metropolis. Until now, Pete has kept his secret. Then Pete has too much to drink...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taller And Not So Fluffy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters in this story are copyright their respective owners.

Clark pulled Pete back just as he was about to walk into the path of an oncoming car.

"Thanks, Man. You saved me again… You're my hero," exclaimed Pete, slurring his words and looking down at pavement. He turned towards Clark and started prodding him with his finger. "You ... are the wind beneath my wings."

"You're lucky I did save you after the stunt you just pulled in there," replied Clark with exasperation.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Man. I'd had too much to drink… couldn't resist. Anyways, you'll be leaving Smallville tomorrow. Going to… Bigville?"

"Metropolis," corrected Clark.

"That's right, Metropolis. So, you see, Clark, old buddy, it was my last chance."

Clark looked at Pete with silent bewilderment.

* * *

Ten minutes earlier, Clark and Lana had been suggesting to Pete, for what felt like the hundredth time, that it was time to call it a night. Apart from the bartender, there were only the three of them left there.

"Come on, Pete. It's time we went. They'll be closing this place soon," reasoned Clark to Pete, whose head was drooped.

"Okay," said Pete, raising his head and smiling, "but first let's play a game."

"I don't think we've time, Pete."

"Go on, Clark, humor him," came Lex's voice from behind Clark, startling him. Lex was the last person he'd expected to see. To say that things hadn't been going well between them recently would be an understatement of immense proportion.

Lana was equally surprised, but she quickly regained her composure, smiling at Lex as she plunged into small talk.

"Lex, I thought you said you wouldn't be able to make it tonight."

"I thought I'd turn up fashionably late. That's usually when things get interesting."

"Lex, you're here," shouted Pete, who'd lost his volume control several drinks earlier. "Perfect."

Clark looked at Pete with curiosity. Why was he so happy Lex had turned up?

Pete stood up, holding the table with one hand to prevent himself from falling.

"Let's start the game, then," began Pete.

"Who am I?"

"Pete?" suggested Lana.

Pete either ignored Lana or was completely oblivious of her and continued unabated.

"I'm an alien."

"Mr. Spock?" asked Lana.

As Pete used his free hand to wave away Lana's suggestion, Clark began to experience an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Despite his growing invulnerability, he was still susceptible to physiological changes.

"I'm bullet-proof, fireproof and have massive strength."

"Warrior Angel," Lex pronounced with confidence, putting his hands behind his head and resting his feet on the table.

"That's right," admitted Pete resignedly. He looked at Clark, who suddenly shifted from tense to relaxed.

"Only kidding, Lex," laughed Pete, a wicked grin on his face.

Clark suddenly began to feel uneasy again. His palms started to sweat.

"He hangs around with a girl whose parents aren't around anymore. She's got two Ls in her name. Do I have to draw you a picture."

Clark had considered using his heat vision somehow to cut Pete's "game" short but it was too late now. He looked on helplessly as realization dawned on Lex and Lana's faces.

"How could we all have been so stupid?" Lana laughed. "It was so, so obvious."

"I actually suspected from the beginning but didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong," admitted Lex smugly.

"So you both know, I guess?" pondered Clark, wondering how this would affect things. His secret was out. Things would never be the same ever again. Maybe it was for the best, he wondered, but he doubted it.

"Stitch!" shouted Lana and Lex in unison.

"I love that little blue guy," chuckled Lex, before raising his hands, waving his fingers about and making growling sounds.

Clark looked blankly at the others as Pete collapsed in a fit of giggles. Somehow Clark's world and Lilo and Stitch's had never collided.

Lex suddenly stopped his Stitch impression and switched back to being aloof. "Clark, you take Pete out and get him some fresh air. I'll settle the bill."

* * *

"I really had you going there, man."

"Quiet, Pete. Lex will be out in a minute."

Pete leaned over to Clark, and, in an uncharacteristically quiet voice, reassured his friend. "Hey, Man, you know I'll always keep your secret, don't you?"

"I know."

Pete looked around to see where Lex and Lana where, and then turned his attention back to Clark. Suddenly his friend appeared to have acquired the new ability to split into two. Or maybe he was twins. Maybe Pete himself was just a Siamese twin, but joined everywhere. And it was while Pete was having these incredibly deep thoughts, he remembered a question that he'd be meaning to ask for ages.

"Speaking of twins ..."

Clark looked at Pete confused, as Pete tried to remember what he was going to say next.

"... Is that guy Jimmy you're going to work with any relation to -" and then he felt a steadying hand on his shoulder and lost interest in what he way saying.

"Hey, Lex, how's things."

"Get in the car, Pete," ordered Lex.

"Yessir, Mister President," drawled Pete, giving Lex a salute before getting in the car.

"So, Lex," started Clark, "I guess this is the end."

Lex offered his hand towards Clark. "For now."

The two shook hands, neither of them smiling.

As Lex got into his car, Lana appeared beside Clark.

"So, moving to Metropolis tomorrow. Meeting lots of new people."

Clark said nothing, but took Lana's hand in his.

"Pete will miss you. He idolizes you, you know?" added Lana.

"I know. Look after him when I'm gone."

Lana nodded silently and the only sound to be heard was that of Lex's car engine starting.

"Hey, Clark," shouted Pete, sticking his head out of the car window. "You're great. You're wonderful. I have to say this, Clark Kent ... and I want the whole world to know it ... you're super, man."

And with that Lex's car sped away, leaving Lana and Clark alone together by the roadside.

"That's a lot to live up to, Clark."

"I'll try, Lana. I'll try."

* * *

"I think I'm in love," drawled Pete.

"What, with Clark? It was kind of obvious from what you said," replied a poker-faced Lex.

"No, no. With Lana. I didn't realize it until now when I saw her as twins. Let me tell you, Lex, there are definite advantages to seeing double."

Pete was about to say that he'd prefer X-ray vision to double vision, but stopped himself just in time and instead started waxing lyrical about Lana. Meanwhile, Lex concentrated on his driving, turned up the radio, and did his best to ignore his love-smitten passenger's incoherent words of wisdom.

"... Hey, maybe we'll get married. She'll be Lana Ross, that's got a kind of ring to it. Then again, would she give up her alliteration for me. And what if she had a trick done on her by that magician guy off TV, Zatara - wouldn't that be a pain in the - wait a minute I know this song. It's Suzanne Vega."

Suddenly Pete joined in. "My name is Luthor, I live on the second floor, I live -"

Lex quickly changed channels. It was another '80s tune. This time by They Might Be Giants. Lex felt like he was living in the past.

Pete insisted on joining in again. "Lana Lang and I are getting old and we still haven't -"

Lex switched the channel again. Third time lucky. Remy Zero. There was no way Pete could associate any of them with that.

Pete, after a moment's consideration, fell silent. Lex turned the radio down slightly.

"So, Pete, I suppose that act you just put on was all for my benefit."

Pete looked blankly at Lex.

"That's it. Play innocent. Or maybe you really didn't know."

"Know what?" asked Pete.

"The Lilo and Stitch movie - it was a cover-up. My father was behind it - got Disney to make it when some reporter was getting too close to the truth. The real Stitch landed here in Smallville not long after the meteorites. I got to meet him once ... hated that little blue guy. Then again, Lana loved that alien more than anything else."

Pete couldn't believe what he was hearing, but then again it was no more unbelievable than some of Chloe's Weird Wall tales.

" Anyway, once my father had apprehended Stitch and his creator, and erased Lana's memories of same, he set the creator Jorl ... that was Jumba's real name ... the task of creating the ultimate genetic superhuman. Starting with my father's DNA, Jorl worked for years on the project. Of course I can tell you this now because, after eleven failures, and finally on the verge of success with Experiment 638, Jorl and Stitch escaped."

"Where did they go?" asked a totally engrossed Pete.

"Well I can't tell you how they escaped, because they used classified technology in the shape of a police telephone box, but they could have ended up anywhere in time and space. Not that it matters much, whichever planet they landed on, Stitch would have ended up destroying it."

Pete went white.

"Are you OK, Pete?"

"I think so ... wait, I seem to have broken my finger somehow."

"Never mind, you're home now."

Lex helped Pete out of the car.

"I lost my best friend tonight, you know,Lex."

"I lost mine too ... quite recently."

"Hey, I'll be your friend, Lex."

"Thanks, Pete, but if we're going to be friends you're going to have to stop calling me Lex. No-one calls me that anymore."

"Sure buddy, I'll call you whatever you want."

"Call me Luthor."

THE END


End file.
